New recruit.

So we have a new employee over at the parts store whom I am training. As usual, I have my doubts about new people. Not so much if they can handle the job, but more if they can handle the rest of us. We're all bullshitters and make terrible lowbrow comments and jokes. Most of which are extremely offensive and directed at one another. The thing is though, it's an important part of the job. If one can't take it and/or dish it out then the blue-collar mechanics we deal with, who behave in the same manner mind you, feel less at ease around them. You have to have thick skin and a sharp tongue to earn respect as a "new guy."You have to be able to drop the normal employee/employer roles and look your boss in the eye and tell him, "Go grab yourself a nice hot cup of shut-the-fuck-up." One guy I work with is the most knowledgeable one of all of us just needs to be told to "Play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself." It's what he expects. It's what we all expect. Hell, it's what our commercial accounts expect. It's why they come to us first and not one of the other stores in the area. They like our sense of humor, our crudeness and the fact we can get them what they need and entertain them at the same time. It's almost like the Circle K hotdog stand in Chicago. As a customer you insult the employees and they insult you back; business thrives and everyone's happy. Like we say at work, "It is what it is."



The way we act isn't very business-like, but that's what we do...Well, with the regulars anyway. The other aspect of the job is knowing who to act like a complete asshole to, when and how to do it. Around normal customers we're friendly, ask what they need, call them sir or ma'am thank them for their business, etc. It's just the way things are. Someone has to learn and learn quickly how to switch back and forth back and forth all day long. As much as we tease and insult one another and our most loyal customers, we still take care of them. I've been known to spend hours off the clock thinking and researching a problem for a commercial account. The same commercial account that earlier who earlier that same day told me I needed to get off my lazy, good for nothing ass and do something. To which I replied something about his wife and a goat. Like I said. It's just a strange relationship and work environment. But in the end we're just joking, no one's getting upset and we're taking care of each other. My hard work makes his business more profitable and his purchases earn the store commission as well as job security which in these tough times is hard to come by.

Back to the new guy though. We were talking and joking in the back tonight about methamphetamines and anal leakage. His girlfriend called and asked what he was doing and he had no problem telling her yet was just asking "How may I help you, sir?" not even five minutes earlier. I think he'll turn out just fine after he learns the parts database and how to research older, obscure parts in paper catalogs.

Till next time, same bat time, same bat channel.